Meaninglessness

What do you think of when you think of meaninglessness? For me life is meaningless when I think of being alone. I look around me often in a conscious effort not to take for granted what I have. I do have a nice home, money to do things within reasons, the blessing to be a stay at home mom and be there for my kids even when they are in school and right afterwards, and more. We aren't rich by any means but we do not lack. To be honest, I enjoy all of this. But would I enjoy it so much without Brian and the girls or dear friends?

When I look at my life I realize that a lot of the problems I had in the past stemmed from loneliness. I sought relationships and connections in unhealthy ways because I detested being alone. I was not meant to live a solitary life - but without Jesus in me, I didn't know how to develop Godly relationships. I can still remember those intense moments of loneliness. Sometimes it still hits me and I have to forcibly make myself realize how many people I do have in my life that care and love me in return. I am no longer alone.

Somewhere along the way I had to decide to do my part in building relationships. It became more important than building a career, acquiring wealth or the need for more stuff. But there is balance. I can minister through writing and speaking and still be a faithful spouse and parent. By faithful I mean being faithful to spend time with those I love so I can build and nurture those relationships. But I can think of many Christians who gave their entire lives over to ministry that they neglected their families and ended up burnt out, divorced or with children who turned their backs on God. This isn't solely related to pastors. A businessman may have the same issues or even a working mom. I know Brian and I struggle to balance running a business with family and ministry. It's so easy to become unbalanced. But together we can do it.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-14 (NIV) says: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

To me it's clear that relationships are key. God is the integral cord but he created us for relationships. Alone I could be overpowered. Through relationships I will overcome. Alone I feel meaningless. The scripture says we accomplish more through relationships. There is something powerful in our relationships when we God coexists in them. It takes just one person who refuses to leave you lying on the ground to prove this. I have been on both sides of that. I have been so alone that there were times when I didn't have anyone to pick me up. It was awful. Sometimes I just wanted to give up and not get up. I didn't feel like I had anything to get up for. Now I have let God open my life to relationships. Now when I fall there is someone there to reach down a hand and help me back up and I do the same in return. It's how it was meant to me. I no longer feel that intense overwhelming sense of emptiness that loneliness brings. God brought me these relationships and I am learning everyday how to nurture and cultivate them.

I think the world perpetuates the idea that if we're strong we don't need people. That's a lie. We need each other. We were created for relationships. We were designed to do life together. Without relationships life is meaningless.

Today's Reflection: Even when there isn't another person around I no longer feel lonely. I know when Brian will be home at some point, the girls will wake up or get out of school, and there is always a friend I can connect with as well. I am so thankful Lord for these relationships. They strengthen me. Through them you define my purpose and calling. Sometimes I cannot comprehend the blessings in my life that have come through relationships. I am so thankful that I no longer feel disconnected in this world, like an outsider looking in.