Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Day 41

I had a wonderful day or praise and Bible study, but then things grew sad and complicated and even hurtful. Among other things I really miss Nannie. She is celebrating her 83rd birthday in heaven. She's been with Jesus just a little over a month. And while I am VERY thankful she's with Jesus and no longer in pain, I do miss her.

For now I think I am going to bed and pray as I sleep. I will be back Wednesday night and will post more about Day 41. (Note: I decided not to edit the actual details of the day but added the reflection).

Today's Reflection: Lord I am still trying to figure out my complicated and tiring Tuesday. It started off so beautiful with amazing praise and worship and bible study. As the day carried on I felt more tired and over-whelmed by my to do list. I had to put away my bible study and get to work. I wanted to stay in that moment with you. Then I realized it was Nannie's birthday and I started missing her. Then the day progressed and grew complicated and hurtful and I just didn't know how to get back to where I was with you during the morning.

Instead of trying to figure it all out, help me let go and turn it over to You. Help me see You in those moments. You are right there with me, even in the saddest and most frustrating moments. You will carry me through. Please help me let go. Please guide me through it, so I won't get stuck and stagnant in my grief, sadness or pain. I often tell Salem she's not having a bad day but a bad moment. Remind me to speak those words to myself. You are my abiding joy! My joy is not based on circumstances. I can't always change the circumstances, but I can change my reaction to them.

Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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