Day 57

I am still quite sad and a little overwhelmed by the emotions I am feeling. A lot of these emotions are bringing my fears to the light. If I am afraid of anything it's losing this life or losing someone that I dearly love.

Our life is a brief and fragile and an extremely amazing gift from God. Without God I don't think we are truly capable of understanding how precious life is. I know I've been a Christian since 1995 but only recently have I truly realized how precious life is.

I write this blog with Raina sitting in my lap. Right after I started typing she came up to me and said, "Hold me like a baby mama." How can I refuse such a sweet request?

Once upon a time I might have shushed her away and told her I'd hold her in a minute if I was busy working or even playing online. How lost I was. :( She's wearing a new Cinderella dress and it's scratching the heck out of my knees, but right now at this moment I want nothing more than to hold her like a baby for as long as she'll let me. I want to freeze this moment in time and just be with her.

Today's Reflection: Thank You Lord for this precious gift of life and especially motherhood. I am overwhelmed by the responsibility but am up to the challenge of being the mother You have called me to be. Thank You Lord for my little girl's health and wellness in spite of their own struggles with Noonan Syndrome and Pervasive Development. I am blessed that You called me to be their mom. Thank You Lord for Salem and Raina. My miracle girls in more ways than one.