Days 65 & 66

It's been a very trying weekend with my girls. I think all children go through this but my 7 year old has decided to become disrespectful and defiant and my 4 year old is following suit yelling at me - right now mostly.

Our Saturday morning started SO sweet. Together we all three cuddled up in the recliner and watched Frosty the Snowman. Then it started - fighting, disobedience and downright defiance. By the time Brian came home at 1:30 I was packing up EVERY toy in their bedroom. Seriously. He climbed on board and it's all out of sight in the attic. It seems extreme but nothing else has worked. They still have art paper and crayons and books and that is it. Today they got to watch a Veggie Tales Christmas DVD but that was the only TV. Brian

We are also in the process of having Salem write, "Salem obey your parents as unto the Lord for it is right. Ephesians 6:1." For a 1st grader this is helpful on multiple levels. She's gotten to 40 and the goal is a 100. Every day she will write this at least 10 times until we hit a 100. Then we will start writing the fruit of the spirit.

So you can imagine how the rest of Saturday and Sunday went. A lot of complaining and meltdowns. It's almost as if we had to punish ourselves as well. But it's the right thing to do of I am certain. So we'll see where we stand in a few days.

Sometimes I think I am in WAY over my head with mothering. But God has entrusted them to me and I feel I have to be consistent. I read a study somewhere that I can't quote now that says inconsistent parenting is WAY worse than permissive or strict parenting. Of course I want to be balanced and not be too strict or too permissive but I definitely want to be consistent even when I am tired. That's the key - to be consistent even when it's hard for me personally, when I am tired or emotionally worn out or even sick.

As I struggle with parenting my girls I remember that God loves them even more than I can possibly love them even though that is incomprehensible for me to understand. He has a plan and a purpose for them just as he does for me.

I found this scripture while reading Max Lucado's Fearless. "Pour our your heart like water before the face of the lord. Life your hands toward him for the life of your young children. Lamentations 2:19.

Father I pour my heart out to you. I pray for Raina & Salem's salvation. I pray that you reveal yourself to them in a deep and tangible way even now. That they will feel your presence, that they will know you. That they will always want to serve you and lead holy loves. SAVE THEM LORD from the enemy's snare. I pray that we keep them focused on you and do not overindulge them. We want them to grow up blessed but more compassionate and giving than anything.

Salem the Peaceful - I pray that Salem will be a banner of peace. That the peace that passes all understanding will embody her spirit and she will bring peace to all she encounters. Even now her compassion and empathy are far past her physical age. I pray as she grows older that her compassion and empathy will continue to grow and as a minister of the gospel of peace she will bring people to reconciliation through you.

Raina the Joyful - I pray that the joy of the Lord will always be Raina's strength as she journeys through this life. As she giggles and makes us laugh now at even the slightest thing - let that joy grow with her and become deeply ingrained as a part of her character. Let your joy radiate from her as she grows up. Laughter is a precious medicine and I pray that you will use it to heal people through her. I pray that she continues to be light-hearted and cheerful in whatever ministry you put her in.

Today's Reflection: Lord enable me to be the mother you want me to be to these two beautiful girls. I want to be a consistent disciplinarian yet have that be tempered with patience, love and encouragement. Show me how to nurture them at every stage in their development. Let my mothering be embodied by your love for them. Love them through me. I want them to grow and lead holy Christ-centered lives. Show Brian and I what we need to do and put it on my heart to always lift them up to you in prayer. Even on days like yesterday and today when all I want to do is cry, run and hide instead let me feel your presence and fall on my face and plead for them before you. Let their special needs be addressed without being indulged. Thank you Lord for the gift of motherhood. Please help me not screw them up. Quickly reveal to me when I make mistakes so I can apologize and do what I can to correct my wrongs. Thank you Lord for the grace and mercy that flows from heaven above into my life and the life of my children.