Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Days 79 & 80

It's been a tiring but fun weekend. It feels nice not to run around like a chicken with my head cut off. I don't have anything wrapped but I have plenty of time for that. I've had a good couple of days. Korie is here and we've had fun shopping and spending time with the girls.

One thing I have realized is that I am fairly sensitive these days. My feelings have been hurt deeply twice this weekend. I've really processed both of these incidents through and both times I really hadn't done anything to justify receiving such rude words. In the past I would have gotten angry and then in my anger and sinned and yelled or said something cutting in an effort to defend myself. Instead these times I didn't say anything and walked away. I am not sure that is the correct response either but I didn't feel safe confronting it and saying hey you're hurting my feelings. Both situations were in front of other people. I was embarrassed as well as hurt and wanted the entire situation to die.

The more I think of it the more I realize I should have said something but with a kind hurt. There is such a fine line between being angry and hurt and sinning in reaction to that anger and hurt. I am not sure what would have been the appropriate response? Ideas?

Today's Reflection: Lord I am at such a loss at times. For every step forward I take I often feel I take 10 steps backwards. I feel as if I just don't know how to be. I almost detest this rush of emotions I feel in dealing withe these emotions. But stuffing them as I did in the past didn't help so this is better but not quite where I need to be. Please show me how to be safe in my emotions. I want to feel emotional freedom to be sad or angry or depressed but not stay in it. I want to express those feelings and process them so I can move on. What would have been the appropriate responses? Show me Lord.


Julia Stewart December 23, 2009 at 8:44 AM  

sometimes the simplest answer is the best.... all you have to say is "that hurt my feelings".... that is it. nothing more. the ball is in their court. no defense, no explanation

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