Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Day 13

You know the beginning of the day was quite sweet and peaceful. I listened to praise and worship while cleaning and sorting out spring and summer clothes from my daughter's closets. I prayed and meditated and felt such peace and enjoyed a wonderful Bible study with friends.

Then my solitude was seemingly broken yet again. Its almost surreal how much I have been attacked since I began putting this blog together and started this journey. I feel that there must be something God is doing in my life that is of major importance because the enemy is really attacking me mentally and emotionally and now physically. (I do not say that with pride - I don't get it. I just know it's happening).

I do believe the enemy is very real and his attacks are planned and well-executed. The Word says he prowls around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. His ultimate goal is to kill, steal and destroy me. (1 Peter 5:8, John 10:10). It's his purpose. And I think at times I lose sight of that and feel insulated from the enemy but I should know better. I don't necessarily believe the enemy is behind every negative aspect in my life. Sometimes - crappy things just happen. But there is just too much right now for me to believe it's a coincidence. I think the enemy is personally trying to destroy me on multiple levels.

The recent attacks have been circumstantial. My peace disruptive by a dear friend's stage 4 cancer diagnosis. The death of another friend's 10 year old daughter. My grandmother's death - and although her passing was a blessing as she was so ill, the timing and the disruption of this solitude journey was intense. And there have been a lot of smaller things a long the way. The girls being sick, Brian being out of town, my endoscopy, etc.

Today the enemy showed his hand. I finally realized he was at work. I didn't realize I was living in a cloud and not able to see it. Today I was in a car accident. I was rear-ended while at a complete stop by a young man going about 40. Massive impact. My head connected with the steering well and still aches and now my neck hurts.

I was in shock and literally everything slowed down. It took me a few minutes to react. I remember instinctively looking behind me towards the girl's car-seats and then realizing thank God they are school. Then the police got there and I became the "normal" Leah and started problem solving, finding my insurance card and drivers license, calling to cancel the massage I was headed towards and calling Brian.

The guy who hit me was taken away in an ambulance. I felt the need to pray for him. It wasn't until about 2 hours later when the anxiety of the days events and the stress of all I now had to do to handle the claim crept in that I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks. At that very moment, I realized the devil was at hard work in my life - trying to destroy my solitude and my peace and literally trying to hurt me.

ENOUGH. I prayed and I prayed hard and I will continue to do so. The enemy will NOT win this war. He will NOT.

Today's Reflection: Lord I thank you for your divine protection. Thank you for the Holy Spirit's comfort. I feel the peace that is sustaining me, miraculously sustaining me. I feel you beside me with each new step I take. I thank you Lord that in all things You are God. You have a plan and a purpose for me. A plan to prosper me and not to harm me, a plan to give me a hope and a future. I truly know You have chosen this time in my life for a reason. And in the recent past I've been intent on figuring that out. But right now I am content on just being on this journey with You. You will reveal Yourself to me in new ways daily. I am content knowing that You are guiding me. I am content knowing that You are comforting me. I am content knowing that You oh Lord reign in my life and I was created for Your purpose.

1 comments:

The Boyd Gang October 14, 2009 at 5:38 AM  

Leah,
I am glad to hear that you are doing okay after such a horrible accident. I pray that you will find strength in the Lord to continue in this brave journey!

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