Day 9

I think I am misunderstanding solitude. I think I am looking for literal solitude which is definitely important and necessary but missing the mental aspect. I tend to let circumstances after my peace. I was texting a good friend and telling her that I was just having a hard time staying mindful in the midst of all the chaos.

She said: "Don't be sucked into responding to the chaos. Once you don't feel responsible you will be able to not react and not be affected and that will result in a quiet mind."

I need to own confidence that I can do this. That the anxiety and stress that affect my spirit are not from God. I can handle this all. God has given me a gift. He's opened my eyes to the gift of solitude. I do need literal solitude at times. But many times I just need to be mindful and not get sucked into the chaos around me.

This is such a paradoxical experience. What I thought I was doing in starting this 90 day adventure is definitely apart of it all but the process is so much more fluid than my sometimes black and white thought process.

Today's Reflection: Be still and know that I am Lord - Psalms 46:10. Thank you Lord for your presence in my life. That in the midst of chaos and pain you are there leading and guiding me on this journey. You are there. You are the one constant in my life and I thank you for shaping me into the Woman of God you want me to be. Let me use these experiences for your glory.