Day 22

Have you figured out that I am a pretty driven person? I tend to thrive on doing. Doing doing doing. And yet God is purposely slowing me down. I am finally feeling some comfort in giving myself over to it. Not fighting it or worrying against it. I know God has a purpose. But I have to admit I miss "doing" to a degree. I get the slowing down. I get focusing on Him. I truly do - but sometimes I still feel inadequate and lazy not doing.

How do I combat that? Well I start with scripture. In the height of Jesus' ministry he often escaped from the masses and sought solitude. (Luke 4:42). Did you know that solitary place in the Greek means a place where no one goes?

Where is my solitary place? Well for a mom of 2 teens (1 at home) and 2 small children (7 & 4) I don't think I truly have a physical solitary place. I am a wife and a mom and I have day to day responsibilities that have to be met. I don't literally have a prayer closet - especially right now with the girls taking turns being sick and thus not in school.

But I do have time each and every day where I can shut the computer down and turn off the phone and TV and concentrate on God. I can get away even if it's figuratively. Of course, the dog may interrupt with a yap or the door bell may ring or the broom may call my name. But isn't that the nature of life? Learning how to exist beautifully in the midst of whatever circumstances you're in? And I am finding that solitude brings peace and peace brings beauty to life.

It doesn't fit my life to literally escape, yet there is a way. It's just different than what I can understand through my mind. In seeking the heart of God, I must literally escape into God. I must turn from the things of the world, even good and beautiful things, and escape into the presence of God...As I escape into His presence I find myself in how He sees me. I see myself through the eyes of God.

Today's Reflection: Lord, I want to see into Your eyes and into Your heart and find Your will. Please help me be brave and face what I see. Please help me not look away in shame or fear. Shape me Lord. Remove my insecurities and my inadequacies. Fill me with Your presence. I want You to reflect in my words and actions. I want to be a part of Your plan to love and serve mankind. I want Your plan become my plan. I want to see the world through Your eyes. I want to love people through Your words and actions. As I get to know You on a deeper level, I feel confident that the lack of busyness will no longer matter.